08.19.08
Posted in General at 12:42 am by Steve
We all go through the ups and downs of life. The ups are usually the easy parts. The downs, while difficult, are usually necessary to help us grow and learn.
I recently took a close look at one of those “down” periods of my life and something struck me. Sometimes our emotions get the better of us and even though we are right there, our perception of the reality that we are living is not always in tune with what is actually happening around us. Our emotions blind us and we fail to see things clearly. And worse even is the fact that when we fail to see things clearly we often mistake shadows for reality and react inappropriately because we are reacting to the illusions brought about by our own insecurities.
I am still trying to reconcile all of this, and make sense of those dark days. Still, I can’t help but wonder about other significant moments in my life. How sure can I be that my perception is anything more than an illusion born of my secret insecurities? Are the most difficult times in my life all brought about when I reacted to illusion instead of reality? Can we ever escape our own insecurities enough to experience pure reality?
I don’t really know the answers to these questions, but I suspect it all comes back to one simple tenet of life: no real growth can happen until we trust and respect ourselves by being honest with ourselves in all matters.
And one last question: when did life get so complicated? I thought we were supposed to get more answers as we grew older, not have to question all the answers we already had.
Permalink
07.23.08
Posted in General at 9:42 am by Steve
So, I was having lunch with a couple of former co-workers and we were discussing a new venture they were involved in. They were gauging my interest in this project of theirs and we were talking about the possibility of getting me involved over some nice Asian cuisine (I had the beef with Szechwan Peppercorn Sauce and brown rice).
After lunch they always send fortune cookies over to the table with the check. I got a kick out of my fortune:
Your ability to find the silly in the serious will take you far!
Permalink
07.13.08
Posted in General at 9:47 am by Steve
And it’s funny how enough of it passing can give you perspective and balance.
So, I attended my 20 Year High School Reunion last night. In fact, I was part of the planning committee that made it all happen. It was a really nice time. It was good to see some old friends, but even better was connecting with people who, even though we spent high school together (and sometimes junior high and elementary school), I never really knew at all.
There were a few people who didn’t make it that I really wished had. People that were good friends at one time, that I have lost touch with over all these years. I hope to connect with them through some other friends who did show up and keep in touch with them.
So, it just goes to show…20 years down the road we all, for the most part, seem to be a lot more comfortable in our skin and quite a bit more secure in who we are. There’s a lesson here…and a song…
Permalink
07.11.08
Posted in General at 2:50 pm by Steve
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. Working through nights or late into the night has become far too common. I’m really burning out. I am taking this weekend to decompress and gear up for some music next week. I have a drummer friend of mine coming by to lay down some tracks for some of my tunes. That will be a pleasant change from all this coding and clients who think they know what they want until you give it to them.
On a positive note, I am making progress on a business venture that I will be able to reveal shortly. I’m quite excited about it and really enjoy the guys I’m working with on this. It could very well be my full-time gig in a way that still leaves me the opportunity to just focus on writing. Plus, these guys are so very respectful of the fact that I want to do music. A rare opportunity indeed.
Oh, and wish me luck. I’m going to my high school reunion tomorrow night. Nostalgia is a dangerous thing for me. Like a moth to a flame I am drawn to the past.
Permalink
06.21.08
Posted in Friends & Family at 8:37 pm by Steve
It feels as if my life has been in flux for a long time. So much change and so much entropy. Then today something happened that has not happened in a long, long time. It all came together for me after dinner this evening when my wife, son, dog & I were in the backyard enjoying the summer evening. I was rolling a tennis ball to William (my son) and he was actually throwing it back to me (he’s only 14 months, so it’s a big deal). Emerson (our dog) was digging holes in the yard. I would tell him to stop, he’d look at me and then dig a little more and then take a victory lap around the yard (for some reason he takes pleasure in not listening to me). It’s really kind of funny to have a dog with that much attitude. I just laugh at him.
Suddenly, life felt calm. Something deep within felt very complete. Two sensations that have been missing from my life for longer than I care to admit.
Today really hit the spot.
Permalink
05.18.08
Posted in General at 10:13 am by Steve
It always amazes me how one chance meeting can turn into an opportunity and how that opportunity can turn into another, seemingly unrelated, opportunity. That has been the theme of this past week. A myriad of disparate connections somehow coalescing into a larger more unified plan.
Life never ceases to amaze me.
Permalink
05.03.08
Posted in Friends & Family at 9:13 am by Steve
I may be coming to a point where my schedule (and workload) are at manageable levels. That hasn’t happened in a while…and I’m excited about the idea of having free time.
Yesterday I even had time to go and witness my son’s first haircut. We went down to the same barber that used to cut my hair when I was a kid (actually, he still cuts my hair). It really meant a lot to me to be able to do that…especially as this town has been changing so much these past few years.
On the work front, I have accepted, in word, a position with a start-up company as what will probably end up being the executive vice president of user experience. No contracts have been signed, but I have confirmed with the founding partner that the terms seem agreeable and I would sign a contract when he had one ready to review. We’re expecting to nail everything down over the next week or two.
I’m about 2 months away from my 20-year High School Reunion. It’s an odd feeling to think that 20 years have gone by since graduating high school. Time simply goes by too fast…in the twinkling of an eye.
All in all, along with catching my breath, it feels like I’m hitting those last few bumps in the road before a stretch of smooth sailing. Oh, the future will have more bumps…life works like that. I mean, how could you really appreciate the good without ever knowing the bad. It’s the duality of opposites. It’s what makes life “living”.
Permalink
« Previous entries
